The Greatest Gift

My band, SALT, discovered a great song by Brian Flynn.  Brian Flynn lives in Wisconsin.  He's a church musician there, and he writes the most beautiful music.  There's never any sheet music for it; he self-accompanies, playing what he hears in his heart. 

Great music has always changed people's lives - which is why I cannot fathom a music-free life!  Flynn's music is no different; his song The Greatest Gift changed the way I think about marriage.

I am the product of an incredibly disfunctional marriage that finally ended after thirty-nine years.  When  my mother was angry - and she was angry most of the time - she let dad have it.  Not long after the explosion of rage, all would be well.  I grew up believing she was a normal wife and mother.  I also believed dad's response was normal.  He never fought with her.  He let her spend her rage, retreating to some inner sanctum.  And he always did nice things for her. 

Growing up and spending time with other people's families didn't change my opinion.  Our family was "good" when others were present or in public.  We were taught to be kind to strangers, speak politely, and reserve anger or displeasure in the safety of our home with the people who loved us best.  I would have said, at the time, that every family lived the same lie ours did.

Then I met Joe's family and witnessed first-hand a marriage between two inordinately kind people who each genuinely wanted the best for the other.  They failed, I'm sure.  They live with their own personal disappointments.  They might sometimes long to be selfish. 

I saw a marriage very nearly described by the New Testament.  A husband who would gladly sacrifice his own life for his wife.  A wife who offers her husband her wisdom and trusts him to always act in her own best interests.  A couple who understands their unique "us-ness" and has left behind their "me-ness". 

I witnessed a love set forth by Corinthians -- patient, kind, and unfailing. 

My inlaws will each admit to their own failures.  But what I saw, with the glow of my own early love for their son, was bright and shiny.  I wanted it for myself.  And I wanted it for Joe.  Years later I found myself wanting it for my boys. 

I depend on each member of my family to give me the best of himself every day.  When he fails, his own kindness should prompt him to seek forgiveness.  In exhange, I want them to have the best of me rather than what's left over at the end of the day. 

Here's how Flynn says it:

For all my life, I’ve longed to receive
A priceless treasure I could hold in my heart.
And although I am not worthy,
For some reason I’ve been given
The greatest gift I’ve ever known.

And I’ll cherish and protect it. I don’t ever want to lose it,
For I never could replace it no matter how hard I try.
For this treasure is more precious than gold or even diamonds.
This treasure is you, so this day I promise you that…


     I’ll be patient with you and whatever you do
     I will walk beside you; where you go I will go.
     And I’ll be faithful to you, I’ll be strong and true.
     When you need a hand, when you need a friend,
     I’ll be there; I love you!


From this day we’ll walk together, whether sick, well, rich, or poor;
From this day we will be one no longer two.
There may be times down in the valleys,
Other times up on the mountains
But no matter where He leads us, I promise to you that…

When the times are hard, we’ll know that our Lord
Will give us strength to carry through.
And when you’re alone or scared,
Just call, and I will come to protect and stand by you!


When at times you fall, my arms will be open wide
To support and comfort you.
When at times I fall, I’ll turn to our Lord:
“Teach me better to love you!” And…

Those lyrics are a heart-felt prayer I pray regularly while thanking God for the gift of my spouse, the strength of our commitment to each other, and the blessing of our family.

And when we celebrate our nineteenth anniversary on January 5, 2010, it'll be with faith that we're about to begin the next leg of our journey together.