My mother left her home in December 2007. It's now December 2010.
What a difference three years makes.
I let myself be a victim of so many things other people were doing and somehow lost myself. It took time to stop feeling buffeted and stand up in my own skin - and then it took more time to decide I wanted a different story. The longest, most difficult part of the journey? Taking the step forward necessary to reinvent myself.
I feel like I've taken the step.
I started school in September. I've always wanted to be an historian - to be paid to spend my time thinking and theorizing and learning. I'm on my way and loving every blessed minute of this long-awaited journey.
I stopped the habit of being a daughter, and became a woman. I moved the needs of my family - the Joe-Adam-Jakob family - above the needs of my natal family and their daily work.
I quit being a future business owner and started being an employee. My family's business isn't the focus of my world anymore. Gee. It never should have been - and don't we all hate that "should" word? I still care about what I do, but I care about it for eight hours a day rather than twenty-four. Guess what? The earth still revolves around the sun.
I committed to being the best wife I can be, and my husband tells me he's blessed.
I promised to let my boys go be men, and they are better men than I hoped they'd be.
I decided to care for myself. To grow spiritually and not just do what feels safe. To achieve strength of mind and not hide in diversion. To develop a strong body and not abuse it because I can. I'm in training and I love every minute of it (well, except the scale part).
I let myself be me in every way, including my hair color.
|Me in the morning.|
|Me in the afternoon.|
And I'm happy with me because I think maybe what I've done is taken more than just a step. Thank God.