Monday, January 17, 2011

Ties That Bind

I read a book this week about the ties that bind women.

In most cases, I think, the ties are natural.  They happen because of sisterhood, motherhood, or - in general - womanhood.

Artificial things break the ties.

Things like lust, artificial because until you clean up someone's socks, you have no idea what it means to connect with him.  That.  And it fades.

Things like stupidity, artificial because most men aren't stupid, they just don't understand women.  Although they sure can be stupid.

Things like competition, artificial because we need to be a village raising our children rather than competitors.  And almost everyone has something important to add to the mix.

And yet, the ties break.  The bonds that connect woman to woman sever artificially.  And when the bonds break, women flounder.  Incidentally, so do men, but that's a different post on a different day.

I wish I could protect my friends from the flounder.  But I can't.  I'm happy, in most cases, to wait until they're ready to talk about their experience.  And in those cases, I commiserate. 
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In other not-so-unrelated news...  I was reading today about the women's movement.  Some philosophies assert women are downtrodden and weak because they bear and raise children.  And I wonder, if we believe that, how do we escape biology?  I wasn't made the same way a man was made.  I have the unique and awesome ability to conceive and bear children.  With that ability came the natural desire to nurture them.  I wouldn't trade that for any other super power people envision.  I also realized I cannot be a part of a movement that denigrates my biology.  There was nothing I loved more than bearing my sons.  I love how they felt inside my body and I loved every single thing I did to make them the people they are becoming - before and after birth.  Well.  Except for the screw ups.  :)  Good thing I learned early in life how to apologize.

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