I have made some amazing friends over the years, and I'm awfully grateful for most of them.
The first time I shared my whole story with someone, though, it didn't turn out so well. The recipient of my confidences is now married to my husband. She used the information I offered freely because I thought it would help her cope with some things in her own life to entice him. He's no innocent bystander, of course. But that's a separate story.
Factor in that my mother is a wounded person herself and that she actively seeks to cause me harm when I interact with her. I remember a day in March 2014 when Joe was advising me to go to the funeral for CC's mother. I was shocked that he'd offer that advice at the time; her and I were no longer friends. I didn't know, of course, that the two of them were already intimately involved with one another and he wanted a reason to be there to support her in her grief.
Me: I think I'll send something to the H family.
Joe: Don't you think you should go to the funeral.
Me: Hell no.Why would that even be a good idea?
Joe: I'm sure everyone's pretty sad and would like the support.
Me: I know what it's like to lose a mother, Joe. I lost mine a long time ago.
Joe: You're awful. Why can't you just be nice?
There's a wealth of material in that two-minute interaction. For now, I'm just going to let that rest.
My focus is on building relationship with women.
Considering my history, how does one accept women genuinely and authentically?
I don't know the answer.