Saying Goodbye

Today, in the midst of what I think is my eighth year accompanying the Kid's Choir, I resigned.

The first year, I joined because I wanted to start playing the piano in Monticello after being away a number of years. 

The choir director left after that year, so one of the moms, MJ, directed the choir.  I think it was more stressful for her than it was for me - after all, all I had to do was show up and play the piano.  She had to plan and lead and all that stuff.  Still, we became friends that year, and it's a friendship that endures.

The next director originally met me when I was in her faith formation class sometime in junior high school.  We made a good pair, and we created what I consider a ministry.

In our choir, kids sang kid music in kid voices with kid vigor.  And they did it during the Roman Mass. 

Some Catholics didn't care for the way the kids led music, but they only sang five or six times a year. 

And for those five or six hours the kids led the music, I watched other kids smiling and laughing, and I imagined them thinking, "Hey!  It's something I can do at Church!  I can participate!  I can serve Jesus!"  Seeing that unadultered joy made the house of inconvenient practice and extra hours at church worth so much more than just my own personal weekly worship.  It felt like ministry. 

This year there's a new director with a new vision and new rules.  Her ideas are great; she imagines teaching the kids more traditional songs so when they hear those songs at other Masses, they think, "Hey!  I know this song!  I can sing too!"

And I find myself thinking, if she can bring a new vision, maybe a new accompanist can bring a new vision too.  So I resigned pending a replacement agrees to take the bench.  If one doesn't, I'll wait until May when the year ends to hang up my hat.

I thought I would be sad to make the call, to start the search for a replacement, to think of not spending that time with young people.  But I'm not. 

I'm relieved I won't be torn between finishing my day at work and getting to practice on time.  I won't find myself locked out of the Church because the doors have to be locked at precisely five pm.  I won't be running from work to choir to the next choir to confirmation.  I'll have about 45 minutes to organize my evening, eat dinner with my family, and ease my own burden.

And that's really, really good.

At the end of this school year when Jakob's done with Confirmation, I'll be happy to be done teaching faith formation after doing it off and on for more than thirteen years.

I've already decided not to lead another Bible study next year (although EPIC is calling me...).

What remains is good, at least mostly.