Lifetimers...

Last night I celebrated my birthday with my posse.

Six of the best women I know and some of their spouses, offspring, and friends of offspring attended the mini celebration.

While observing my friends, I thought about how we form friendships and how we keep them.

I believe people fall into your life for a reason, season, or lifetime.  Some people are meant to stay for a short time and others for long periods.  A few stay for a lifetime.  Many of my lifetimers were here last night.

I grew up observing my mom's relationships.  I think she thought those who loved her were "safe" and would accept the ugliest parts of her because they loved her.  For a long time we all did -- my siblings and myself, dad, other friends and relatives.  Eventually nearly everyone stopped accepting her abuse and bad behavior.  Those who haven't yet will eventually.

I want something different in my life.  I want the people I love to love me too.  I want to give them the best of myself at all times -- not just when I'm happy or content.  I've failed at times.  When I stood at the other side of my failures and contemplated them, I recognized the growth I achieved each time I failed.

I recognize something else.

I'm tired of substandard people -- people who are dishonest, people who fail to be authentic, people who cannot be kind, and people who cannot learn from their own mistakes.

I once attended a seminar about time management.  I cannot recall the exact verbage or even why I was there, but I do recall a grid the instructor drew on the board while talking about how people spend time.

He said there are certain tasks in our days that consume massive amounts of time and energy, but are completely worthless tasks.  To be successful at time management, we have to learn to identify those time wasters, and mitigate their intrusion in our day.

I think we need to do that with people too.  I've wasted too much time and energy on people who proclaim their honesty while living dishonest lives, people who fail to be authentic, people who cannot learn from past mistakes, and people who suffer from the deadliest of sins -- envy.

I resolve today to focus my energy differently -- to free myself of distraction so I can better support my friends and family in their own struggles and with their own weaknesses.

I think I'll become a better friend, and be more worthy of my lifetimers.