I often find myself acting as a resting place for people when they are in pain. It's a blessing to give respite to someone who's hurting or lost. But it can be dangerous too, when the boundaries that ought to be respected - both by an injured friend and by me - are not respected. And they're often not.
I recognize too that I have a unique way of dealing with hurts caused by others. In my extremely dysfunctional family, I was taught that hurt could only last as long as the inflictor wanted to inflict. There was no waking up the next morning bearing a grudge or even expecting an apology.
I still don't do either. I don't forget; that would be stupid. But I don't bear a grudge, and I don't expect an apology. Surprisingly, my refusal to be hurt when I should be hurt is not a strength.
How, then, do I keep offering respite while refusing to become a dumping ground?
There's a million dollar question.
I recognize too that I have a unique way of dealing with hurts caused by others. In my extremely dysfunctional family, I was taught that hurt could only last as long as the inflictor wanted to inflict. There was no waking up the next morning bearing a grudge or even expecting an apology.
I still don't do either. I don't forget; that would be stupid. But I don't bear a grudge, and I don't expect an apology. Surprisingly, my refusal to be hurt when I should be hurt is not a strength.
How, then, do I keep offering respite while refusing to become a dumping ground?
There's a million dollar question.
Comments
Post a Comment